Saturday, March 21, 2009


That’s right. Today is the anniversary of the day the New York Football Giants proved, once again, that they are indeed number one in what was certainly the greatest display of athletic prowess since Super Bowl XXV in 1991. One year ago today, the Giants toppled the undefeated Patriots. Patriots coach Bill Belli-cheat and cry baby, apparent pretty boy (though I still don’t see why women throw their vaginas at this guy) Quarterback Tom Brady could do nothing but watch in awe as the greatest team to ever compete in any sport since the dawn of time, totally fucking pwned them with plays too brilliant and feats of athleticism too great to be accomplished by mere mortals. Truly, it was the stuff of gods.

I call him Belli-cheat, of course, because some “allegations” backed by some “evidence” and these things called “facts” surfaced that very season that the Patriots had perhaps “stolen” some info that didn’t, necessarily, belong to them. Someone finally cried shinnanigans on Belichick being a huge bud-in-ski when it came to other teams' play books. For his part, the Patriots coach put down his telephoto lens long enough to claim that the team did nothing wrong and everything they accomplished was totally legit. Anyone tell me what the Patriots did this season? That’s right, a lot of crying. But they didn’t cheat. That’s preposterous.

But I digress. On the complete opposite end of the spectrum of the Patriots complete lameness, is the severe and pure awesome of the NY Giants. My pathetic prose cannot capture the glory and transcendent beauty of that game. I won’t do a recap, we all watched it. If you didn’t, then you are a bad person. I carry a copy of it on DVD with me at all times, in case a situation arises where someone needs or wants to see true greatness and what football is really all about, NAY, what life is all about. I cannot say enough about the humbling magnificence of this truly great and benevolent dynasty. So all I will say is...

We are better for living under the Giants' rein. Long live the Big Blue Wrecking Crew (actual proper noun so totally legitimate capitalization).

P.S. The first person to post a comment citing any supposed examples of Giants' non-awesomeness will be smote.

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